Skip to main content

Conflict Erupts


Here is the deal: FarmWife had cordoned off a wide swath of pasture to allow for regrowth. She has mowed thrice. Regrowth is complete. It is beautiful, lush, and delicious over there. It is an overgrazed wasteland (pictured above) over here.

Now she is trying to tell me that I only get to go over there half the time as a result of being fat, to which I respond that I am just muscular. She doesn't believe me. 

It is an atrocity.

FB


Comments

  1. Fenway -

    I agree that this is terrible and I know you are very upset. But ... and it's a big but ... a little less weight will be easier on your hock. Standing, working, getting down and up.

    Try not to complain too much. FarmWife is just trying to take good care of you.

    just brayin'....

    ReplyDelete
  2. FAT! My mom calls me fat all the time - I just ignore her and keep eating. Don't worry about it Fenway - if you lost weight you would be uncomfortable for Farm Wife to ride - so ignore her as she knows not what she is talking about.

    Your fren in Muscles,

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dearest Fenway,

    I understand that you think that FarmWife is doing you a mighty injustice, but don't you think she wants whats best for you? You have to admit that a little less weight will make you more willing to canter about your pasture and joyfully bray to your neighbors? I think you will appreciate her decision later...!

    Mulefully yours,
    Mare

    ReplyDelete
  4. And Fenway ....

    It's so darn hot this week you may want to stand in the shade and swish flies. And not eat, unless a tasty watermelon rind comes your way.

    Maybe your beloved FarmWife is worried that your new harness won't ... ahem ... fit your blossoming midriff?

    You're rippling, for sure. And shiny! But a sweating mass is not so appealing.

    Just braying.

    ReplyDelete
  5. FB,

    Mother says the same sorts of things about me! It IS an atrocity.

    I'm not sure what we can do about it, though...

    Boyfriend

    ReplyDelete
  6. Fenway, would you prefer one of these terms:

    beefy, big, blimp, bovine, brawny, broad, bulging, bulky, bull, burly, butterball, chunky, corpulent, distended, dumpy, elephantine, fleshy, gargantuan, gross, heavy, heavyset, hefty, husky, inflated, jelly-belly, lard, large, meaty, obese, oversize, paunchy, plump, plumpish, ponderous, porcine, portly, potbellied, pudgy, roly-poly, rotund, solid, stout, swollen, thickset, weighty, whalelike

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you all for your support, and for your delicacy in approaching the subject of my rotundity. Bif, we could unite against injustice . . . we could form the

    Federation of
    Lame
    Animals against
    Bale-distribution
    Bias.

    F.L.A.B.B.—because even the under-exercised have feelings.

    And Little Big Red, I think not! I prefer "Voluptuous," "Ample," "Substantial," "Big-boned," or "Comfy."

    Love,
    FB

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks in Advance for Your Mulish Opinion!

Popular Posts

Here are the Cloud Dog's X-Rays

Here, for your edification, are the X-rays of dear Paisley's leg. There is, apparently, no new break (since his Monday siezure) but there is, of course, a great deal of abnormality caused by years of living with a shortened ulna. His pronounced lameness, the vet says, may temporarily improve. Unlike me, Fenway Bartholomule, poor cloud dog can't expect much in the way of a full recovery.   Not having the $$$$ for surgery to fuse the joint, we are working on making some sort of rigid splint to support the limb and prevent further degeneration. That is, the humans (with their space-age material inventions and their opposable thumbs) are working on making a splint; I am working on giving cloud dog brayful looks of support and encouragement every time he totters into the yard to relieve himself. As always, he fears me (me?!) and keeps his distance.  Ears to you,  Fenway

Vegan Spring Rolls

I, Fenway Bartholomule, am a vegan: of course I only eat plants, not people! My human is too, so I'm sharing my blog with her today so that she can participate in the 2014 Virtual Vegan Potluck ! When you're done perusing the recipe for these delicious spring rolls, click "back" or "forward" for the entire potluck experience! Virtual Vegan Potluck: Spring Roll Appetizers Beautiful? Check. Healthy? Check. Delicious? Check. Easy? Check. Fancy? Check. Quick to clean up after? Check. Vegan? OF COURSE! If you're looking for something portable, colorful, and crowd-pleasing for your next potluck, look no further than these simple vegan spring rolls! The best part? You can substitute ANYTHING. I never make these the same way twice, so play around with cilantro, kale, cabbage, scallions, or whatever you think sounds good! Ingredients Veggie mix: 2 carrots (grated) 4 oz mung bean sprouts 1/3 cup chopped peanuts (raw, or roasted and salted) or ...

Mowers and raccoons and steers, oh my!

In my informal Facebook survey I learned that the majority of Friends of the Muleness want more stories—All the Stories!—and that the story they want most of all is the story of the raccoon.  Farmwife says it's hardly a story at all, and that it would be something to talk about had the raccoon been in my barn, or touching my body, or gesticulating at me with it's bizarrely human little fingers to indicate that it would like a little snack or help with its homework. Alas, this is not that kind of story.  Before I tell you about the raccoon I have to go backwards and tell you that I am feeling very good in my body these days. My track through the forest has been expanded, my laminitis is at bay, and my health has been very largely excellent since I came here to the Atomic Ranch in December. I am feeling so good, in fact, that I have been cleared for long walks around the neighborhood! Puck, Farmwife, and I sometimes make the long loop up Saratoga and back around Fox Spit, which ...

To Boot or Not to Boot

There're boots (FarmWife's, pictured) and and then there're boots (mine, below) and boots (suspensory). And THOSE—suspensory, support or protective boots—are what I want to talk about today. (And yes, I know that there are a million other kinds, too, but a mule has only so much time.) I love my Easyboot Epics, and I would gladly wear a second pair on my hind hooves if the opportunity presented itself. So far, it hasn't, but it's only a matter of time until a mule of my caliber starts seeing the corporate sponsorship love. All in due time!  In the meantime, FarmWife wonders about protective or supportive boots. You know, the kind that make a mule look very fancy, ready for anything, and primed for tremendous athletic accomplishment?  Really, I would love to have some. I think they'd look sassy. The arguments in favor of wearing something like a Sports Medicine Boot are thus: I love to a...