Find what you love and do it. That seems to be MY answer to happiness, anyway! (I'm not so sure this philosophy applies to all—I've a friend, for instance, whose compelling passions are zombies, chainsaws, metal music, vampires, an…
For the Curious . . .
An update on yesterday's horses:
Shorty lived to old age with young FarmWife, and was euthanized when his Cushings advanced to an unmanageable level. He was buried on the farm.
Panda was euthanized at age 22. He contracted terminal pn…
Lessons
Shorty was FarmWife's first pony of her very own. He taught her how to post, how to mount, and how to avoid getting wiped off on low-hanging branches.
Panda was FarmWife's first "big horse." He taught her how to jump, ho…
One of life's great questions . . .
Why is it that minimule Harriet gets couch privileges and I do not? It cannot be her size alone, as baby goats are easily as small. THEY do not get couch privileges.
It cannot be manners. I am more polite.
It cannot be softness. I am quit…
A Few Little Abnormalities.
There are a number of slightly odd things about the citizens of Bent Barrow Farm. Here are a few, presented at random: 1. FarmWife is deaf in her left ear; 2. Paisley the Dog is deaf in both; 3. FarmTiger Townes has some undiagnosed disfu…
These are a few of my least favorite things
If you've been hanging around Brays of Our Lives for a while now, you'll know that not much scares me. I'm not afraid of wearing bells, towing poles, leaping logs, fording streams, passing trucks, carrying children, or crossin…
Giving thanks
Every fourth Thursday in November I stop and count my blessings, and this one is no exception. I've encountered such generosity this year that I have no shortage of thanks to offer, today and always. While I can't possibly fit ever…
Counting my blessings
What's troubling me today? Not much. There are trivial matters, of course. I would trade this freezing weather for our typical balmy drizzle in a heartbeat, but I can't complain about the lack of mud. I would love to upgrade my war…
A conversation on the etiquette of soliciting funds
"I need hay," I told FarmWife.
"You have hay," she told me. "You have half a bale of delicious orchard grass. It will last you a week." "I need buffer hay," I told her. "I need hay stored against…
An amazing rider
There are an abundance of videos on Youtube showing equines doing strange and dangerous things: galloping on pavement, jumping wire fences, carrying helmetless riders at breakneck speeds through unsafe landscapes and over treacherous obsta…
I'd like to place an order, please
It's 20 degrees outside and FarmWife has just delivered the first two of our six daily water buckets. They arrive at regular intervals—clean, tepid, liquid water for our refreshment and our health.
What part of "half-caff, no foa…
Jingle bells, Jasper smells, Feather laid an egg
Actually, Feather did no such thing. Neither Feather nor her companions in wings have laid a thing this autumn. (We are down to 14 hens, as the humans have recently euthanized poor, blind Violet. That is a sad story for a different time. …
An open letter to David 4D (pronounced Ford)
Dear Fenway, My latest person reads me your column. I'm a donkey, a
saddle donkey, 13hh, and I've had AppleLady about a year. I call her
that because she shares apples with me. Well, in your latest column,
when we came to t…
Studies indicate that smoking is hazardous to your health.
My children are debating the relative threat of Mr. Potatohead's pipe. Dylann: "He could get sick or even die." Robin: "It's only pretend, and only for a while." Dylann: "OK, but don't blame me when he …
The Bold and the Brayful: reprinted from the Brayer, Vol. 43 #5
The
Bold and the Brayful ,
a column by Fenway Barthlomule fenway@braysofourlives.com How
to Spook like a Mule If
you spend enough time around humans, you'll find that there are two
sorts: there are the humans who think mules are stupid, an…
The Birds of Bray
With spawning salmon come the raptors. These "birds of bray," as I like to call them ("prey" sounds so violent) come to Wickersham every autumn and populate the foothills and wetlands with their nests, their cries, and …
One fish, two fish
Red fish . . .
Red fish—coho salmon, if I'm not mistaken—are afoot (afin?) in my local creek. Wickersham is teeming with them as they fight their way upstream to spawn. Even I, the mighty Fenway Bartholomule, am amazed at their strengt…
You Can't Beat Quality—a product endorsement
A couple of years ago, my FarmWife (who looooves animal clothing) ordered me a super-cheap, $25 rainproof quarter sheet. You know, the bargain basement, bottom end quarter sheet—the one she could afford.
It was a TERRIBLE mistake. The thi…
The State of the World Today
I was listening to FM radio yesterday, and during one particular commercial break I heard the following products and services advertised, in this order: Gambling, liposuction, fast food, gambling, petroleum. What, I wondered, is this world c…
An Invitation
I, Fenway Bartholomule, cordially invite my friends to join me for an evening of caroling and hot cider in Wickersham, Washington, on the afternoon of Sunday, December 18, 2011. That's right, folks . . . 2011. I'm talking 13 months …
For Anita
Anita, you wondered on Facebook what FarmWife's five HUMAN life priorities are—five things no human should have to live without.
I thought I would have nailed it with my guesses, which were 1. Shiny brown mules, 2. Cute baby animals;…
5 life priorities, according to the mule:
1. Personal safety. We may be mighty, we may be majestic, but we are essentially Prey Animals. Don't forget it. If we don't feel safe, we don't feel happy.
2. Nourishment. A well-fed mule is a happy mule. Fresh water goes with…
Still here . . .
I'm still here, but busy with the enjoyable presence of my MIL and FIL from Ye Olde New Hampshire. Any stereotypes that may exist around the matter of visiting mothers-in-law (see image) do not apply—these are lovely people, and on top…
DYI for frugal bit-collectors.
Dear Reader,
You may remember that my opinions on bits and bitting are quite solid and developed; that is, I like what I like, and I know what I like, and FarmWife knows what I like too. FarmWife loves her bits, but most of all she loves …
Bray for our veterans
Take some time today to remember our four- AND two-legged friends who have served; to remember their sacrifice, and to remember their daring.
It is my profound hope that our U.S. federal government will someday value its equine veterans a…
You Mustn't Call Me Fat
You mustn't call me fat, and here is why:
1. I am not fat, I am muscular. This is the body of a chiseled athlete. These well-sprung ribs house a heart of steel, and lungs like vast bellows. Each breath stokes a raging fire, and this r…
This crazy week
FarmWife, who has a concussion and a 27-item to-do list, needs my help. She has had a headache since Friday's headbonk, and now she's dizzy, nauseous, spaced out, and generally less-than-mulish. I had hoped to use today to tell yo…
A word to the four-season, northern rider.
Some days, you've just gotta groom us as best you can. Even ,I suppose, if the best you can do is to carve out a clean place to set your saddle. Fenway "mud monster" Bartholomule
Busy day!
The humans have had a very busy day.
1: welcoming company for lunch. This particular company is practically family, AND they think I have a beautiful nose. They said so. They also admired my rolling tactics (all the way over, and all the w…
Don't Butt Heads with a Goat
Here are the facts:
1. It gets dark, now, rather early in the evening. FarmWife prefers to feed dinner rather late in the evening, so as to have our breakfast arrive 12 rather than 14 or 16 hours later. Therefore, it gets dark before Far…
One year in retrospect
One year ago, I posted a video online of myself riding down the road, singing a happy tune to the rhythm of Fenway's clip-clopping hooves. Who knew what it would lead to? 11 months ago, Fenway had 36 fans on his fledgeling fanpage. Toda…
A Good Mail Day
Yesterday was a good mail day: Missy got her new goat coat (it fits!), and FarmWife got a mulishly splendiferous t-shirt in the mail from our dear fan K.. A giant, mule-sized public thanks to you, K.! FarmWife does, indeed, love "sit…
What is the BLM up to with our tax dollars?
I'm just starting to clue into the full horror of the BLM/mustang relationship now, so forgive me if my facts are not entirely straight. While I've always looked askance at the BLM's high-stress roundups, I never thought too mu…
Even in 1916 . . .
. . . . mules knew how to SHINE!
Here is a photo from FarmWife's good human friend L., who reports that it was taken in Texas and shows her great grandfather and his mule brigade searching for Pancho Villa.
I, for one, would like to g…
10 basic blanketing rules
1) Many of us equines grow a lovely, thick winter coat. Don't blanket if you don't need to. Do blanket if you plan to body clip, or if your cold-climate equine is a skinny minny and can't spare any calories. I wear a blanket, …
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