I'd like to place an order, please

Image from www.caffeinatedthoughts.com

It's 20 degrees outside and FarmWife has just delivered the first two of our six daily water buckets. They arrive at regular intervals—clean, tepid, liquid water for our refreshment and our health.

What part of "half-caff, no foam, double tall soy caramel latte" did she not understand? I have been waiting for some alternative to this water from the bathtub spigot for some time now, and except for the occasional splash of apple cider vinegar (for the health of the goats, and for acidifying the reproductive tract in hopes of baby girl goatlings) I've been disappointed.

When the warm house water arrives, Missy drinks first. We all like to see Missy hydrated, and she does not disappoint. She is a quaffer, not a sipper. FarmWife loves that about her.

I am a good drinker, and do my duty. FarmWife tells me that adequate hydration is essential to good gut function, and then Jasper Jules always throws in that I obviously have a very robust gut, thank you. I have tried telling FarmWife that herbivores require constant digestive activity in order to stay alive in temperatures like these, to which she replies that constant eating would make me die of explosion. I get a half a flake extra when temperatures drop below freezing—no more, no less.

Jasper Jules and his sister Mon Petit do not condescend to drink from FarmWife's two blue buckets—at least not in her presence. They would have her worry that they will die of dehydration in this cold weather, but I know that they just like to have a sip when she's departed. They are sneaky like that, with their little head games.

As for me, I hope you're all staying warm, refreshed, and surrounded by delicious beverages in this windup to the holiday season. Have a caramel latte for me, will you? It doesn't look like I'll be getting one myself anytime soon.

Frosty ears to you,

FenBar

Comments

Here are the Cloud Dog's X-Rays

Here, for your edification, are the X-rays of dear Paisley's leg. There is, apparently, no new break (since his Monday siezure) but there is, of course, a great deal of abnormality caused by years of living with a shortened ulna. His pronounced lameness, the vet says, may temporarily improve. Unlike me, Fenway Bartholomule, poor cloud dog can't expect much in the way of a full recovery. Not having the $$$$ for surgery to fuse the joint, we are working on making some sort of rigid splint to support the limb and prevent further degeneration. That is, the humans (with their space-age material inventions and their opposable thumbs) are working on making a splint; I am working on giving cloud dog brayful looks of support and encouragement every time he totters into the yard to relieve himself. As always, he fears me (me?!) and keeps his distance. Ears to you, Fenway

Continued . . .

Vegan Spring Rolls

I, Fenway Bartholomule, am a vegan: of course I only eat plants, not people! My human is too, so I'm sharing my blog with her today so that she can participate in the 2014 Virtual Vegan Potluck ! When you're done perusing the recipe for these delicious spring rolls, click "back" or "forward" for the entire potluck experience! Virtual Vegan Potluck: Spring Roll Appetizers Beautiful? Check. Healthy? Check. Delicious? Check. Easy? Check. Fancy? Check. Quick to clean up after? Check. Vegan? OF COURSE! If you're looking for something portable, colorful, and crowd-pleasing for your next potluck, look no further than these simple vegan spring rolls! The best part? You can substitute ANYTHING. I never make these the same way twice, so play around with cilantro, kale, cabbage, scallions, or whatever you think sounds good! Ingredients Veggie mix: 2 carrots (grated) 4 oz mung bean sprouts 1/3 cup chopped peanuts (raw, or roasted and salted) or ...

Continued . . .

Mowers and raccoons and steers, oh my!

In my informal Facebook survey I learned that the majority of Friends of the Muleness want more stories—All the Stories!—and that the story they want most of all is the story of the raccoon. Farmwife says it's hardly a story at all, and that it would be something to talk about had the raccoon been in my barn, or touching my body, or gesticulating at me with it's bizarrely human little fingers to indicate that it would like a little snack or help with its homework. Alas, this is not that kind of story. Before I tell you about the raccoon I have to go backwards and tell you that I am feeling very good in my body these days. My track through the forest has been expanded, my laminitis is at bay, and my health has been very largely excellent since I came here to the Atomic Ranch in December. I am feeling so good, in fact, that I have been cleared for long walks around the neighborhood! Puck, Farmwife, and I sometimes make the long loop up Saratoga and back around Fox Spit, which ...

Continued . . .

To Boot or Not to Boot

There're boots (FarmWife's, pictured) and and then there're boots (mine, below) and boots (suspensory). And THOSE—suspensory, support or protective boots—are what I want to talk about today. (And yes, I know that there are a million other kinds, too, but a mule has only so much time.) I love my Easyboot Epics, and I would gladly wear a second pair on my hind hooves if the opportunity presented itself. So far, it hasn't, but it's only a matter of time until a mule of my caliber starts seeing the corporate sponsorship love. All in due time! In the meantime, FarmWife wonders about protective or supportive boots. You know, the kind that make a mule look very fancy, ready for anything, and primed for tremendous athletic accomplishment? Really, I would love to have some. I think they'd look sassy. The arguments in favor of wearing something like a Sports Medicine Boot are thus: I love to a...

Continued . . .

BRAYS OF OUR LIVES

Search This Blog