I wouldn't call it writer's block, per se, but I am facing a bit of a dilemma: how to go on blogging about a life which is now being passed in a field, 132 feet on each side, a paddock, forty feet long, and a 16x32 foot barn? How …
First world problems
Today's problems: My eight pound chihuahua is trapped in a ten pound body. No amount of exercise or dieting seems to make her slender again. My mule is retired and I have fallen in love with the photo and description of a free gelding in…
Setting the bar
I've set the bar high for FarmWife: of course she dreams of adding a second equine to the family someday, but she will never again shop for a horse or mule with the same broadness of standards. I've taught her to expect—nay, deman…
Mottos
Do we need a family motto here at Bent Barrow Farm?
FarmWife says her maternal family has the motto "touch not the cat but a glove," along with a fancy crest and their very own tartan.
I said, "FarmWife, your family motto is…
Coal conundrum
There is trouble brewing in paradise: those of you who live near me, Fenway Bartholomule, might know that a coal shipping terminal has been proposed for picturesque Whatcom County. This terminal, by my calculations, is proposed to export …
A plan of action
These are some things FarmWife has decided to do since my hock went kablooey:
Find more work
Take tactical shooting lessons
Quadruple the size of her ornamental garden
Grow naked oats
Jog
FarmWife is taking this bad news well, I think: Wi…
Unfair life things
Robin, who is four, is often going on about unfair things. Dylann got more peaches. Unfair! Mother has fancy earrings. Unfair! Mia's book choice gets read first. Unfair!
Well, I know all about unfairness. Here are some unfair life th…
Shedding season algebra
If a mule is curried at a rate of 100 swipes per minute and puts 280 brown hairs per swipe onto his FarmWife for 25 minutes, then two goats are scratched at a rate of 120 scratches per minute for five minutes, simultaneously, and each puts…
Not an espresso machine, but close!
Do you remember my hydration woes, wherein I didn't drink enough and wound up with a tummy ache? Well, the friendly folks at Schneider's Saddlery,providers of value-priced horse supplies, heard about my troubles and sent me the per…
My entry in a $5000 contest
I recently entered this contest , and I'd be terribly grateful if you'd pop by and vote for me. The first contestant to reach 5000 votes will win $5000, and I'd very much like that to be me. Here's the description FarmWife w…
Book update
What I've determined about writing a book: A book does not write itself. Writing a chapter of a book is not exactly like writing a dozen blog posts. A book chapter requires a sort of continuity of focus that blogging does not require, un…
I found a four-leafed clover
I found a four-leafed Clover:
It was actually much cuter in person, but it turned all cringy when FarmWife pointed the camera at it.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Fen
Fenway 50, #3
The third item on the list of 50 items is a photo of me being naughty, but I am afraid that there are no photos in existence of me being naughty. I am never naughty. Sometimes I am hungry, and sometimes I am astonished, and sometimes I fle…
The Fenway 50, #2
The last time I worked, I walked halfway up a little mountain and then walked down. I had a child upon my back. She walked the last quarter mile home, during which time it snowed. It was my retirement ride.
The last time I carried FarmWife…
The Fenway 50
My friends Iota McHippus and Petey Pants have been doing this fun exercise and I thought I'd follow their leads and give it a try myself. For 50 days—not necessarily uninterrupted— I'm going to share the below images and stories w…
The Great Chainsaw Curse
Here is photographic proof that FarmWife was not always subject to the Great Chainsaw Curse. Sometime between 30 years ago and now, however, FarmWife seems to have come under the dark cloud of some terrible voodoo. She cannot touch a chai…
Many thanks to Granny J. Bone for finding this funny ad!
From Craigslist:
Pain in the ass mini donkey (W. Pierce County) Date: 2012-03-12, 7:08PM PDT Reply to: wbdkf-2888886770@sale.craigslist.org [ Errors when replying to ads? ]
Precocious seven year old with a penchant for opening gates, army-crawl…
Opting out
The thing about shooting is that I think it's perfectly wonderful UNTIL the earplugs go in. FarmWife, who knows all too well (for non-shooting-related reasons) the challenges of living with hearing loss, think's it's only wonde…
The bad and the good
The bad news: FarmWife says pasture-rest only this summer, so there go my plans to camp in the Cascades, walk to Montana, visit the Chicken People in Tonasket, and go to a police horse clinic. FarmWife says we shall still have our time tog…
A stumbling block
Writing about how happy riding makes me is a bit hard when I haven't been riding since October. I haven't been successful in bringing Fenway back into work. As of this week, he's officially retired. After a winter off for the Gr…
Retirement hobbies
I've been weighing my options: sailing seems too tippy, whittling requires opposable thumbs, and crochet would be a muddy mess. I've thought it over, and I've decided that my retirement hobby options boil down to golf and garde…
A substitution
From www.facebook.com/fenwaybartholomule : "I am a small brown mule of great heart and splendiferousness. I am good at surmounting obstacles (making new friends), braying for my breakfast, shining, and giving hugs. I am a columnist and…
Poetry special
You probably know that www.commissionedpoetry.com is FarmWife's way of bringing in a little money on the side. Writing commissioned poetry is one of the many things she does to patch together a career as a writer, blogger, and small-b…
Plumbing
Not to be indelicate, but I take marvelous care of my leavings. I organize them into a tidy stack in a small, dry corner of my shed. I pile them neatly, leaving them undisturbed for future collection via wheelbarrow. FarmWife comes once or…
A misleading photo series
The photos I posted yesterday may have led you from the truth: I was tacked up and readied not for a ride but for a photo-shoot. I wanted to show you the delightful interplay between my quarter sheet and my new barn. Unfortunately, I was n…
Few mules are as lucky as me.
It's not just every mule who gets a shed addition for Christmas, and it's not just every mule's whose shed addition grows so much that it begins to be called a barn. No, sir (or ma'am)! I am a lucky mule.
I am the luckiest …
Happy birthday, Dr. Seuss!
A resounding and mulish happy birthday to the late Theodor Seuss Geisel. From Oh, the Places You'll Go! , I'll pass on this bit of mulish advice: "Be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that life's a …
A home for every horse . . . or mule.
Edited to add that an astute reader has pointed out the link between this program and the pro-slaughter agenda, which is a lesson for all of us. Thoroughly investigating the charitable and progressive organizations to which we belong or co…
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