This is me sulking in the rain. We went up a mountain just before the deluge. Up a mountain is not the best place to go when it's wet. Believe me. As if a raincloud up in the sky were not unpleasant enough—now we have to climb up and …
I can help you with that
Dear Whatcom County roadway maintenance department:
I couldn't help but notice the abundant foliage on the grassy shoulders of your scenic byroads. I can help you with that!
I'm Fenway Bartholomule—trail mule, celebrity blogger, a…
Fond farewells
First, farewell Two Punch. This lovely gray sire of thoroughbred racehorses was a character of charm and dignity, and he'll surely be missed. Farewell Weltmeyer—you were, and shall remain, a legend among Hanoverians. It's hard to i…
The things humans say, think, and do
The things humans say, think, and do sometimes surprise me.
A few examples:
A) A group of motorcyclists, passing through FarmWife's target-shooting area, asked "are you putting that mule down?" Gun. Shooter. Tied Animal. A n…
Five things my mother in law taught me
1) Every meal is fancier with pretty napkins. 2) A great hostess always serves dessert. 3) One should never be ashamed to have dinner for breakfast. 4) Wildlife comes to those who wait. 5) Good guests help wash up.
Another good reason not to wear shoes
Metal shoes on pavement? Sure, if you're walking.
I embarrassed myself a little today, I'll admit—I saw a pair of dragons (FarmWife says motorcycles—we have agreed to disagree). I was in the public roadway, and I saw dragons, and I…
Oxymoronic
Here is darling Briony in her neon camouflage splints, enjoying a frolicsome romp
around the verdant meadows of . . . WAIT A MINUTE! Back the truck up!
(beep . . . beep . . . beep . . . beep . . .)*
Neon camo? NEON CAMO? Let's brea…
It ain't no thang
FarmWife took me on my first shooting adventure yesterday.
Revolver? Check.
Ammunition? Check.
Cross draw holster? Check.
His and hers earplugs? Check.
Packable rope halter? Check.
Cotton lead rope? Check.
First aid kit? Check.
Here was t…
Best. Week. Evar.
This week is going to be great!
Tomorrow, FarmWife and I get to go riding. (WooHoo!)
Thursday, FarmWife and I get to go riding. (WooHoo again!)
Also Thursday, FarmWife takes the goats to the vet. I get to be the one who stays home. (Doubl…
Cute baby animals
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNKnTA-wcI4
Briony Bluebell is getting around nicely on her splinted forelegs. Her contracted tendons are improving and she is SWEET! FarmWife had better watch it—I, Fenway Bartholomule, demand one cuddle for…
Here are the rules
The first rule is that the baby goats are not allowed out in the pasture with me, Uncle Fenway, until Briony Bluebell is out of splints and frolicking on all four. This is because the humans have the misguided perception that I might, in …
Ministering to the sick
Clover, being an excellent nurse as well as a darned cute critter, has assigned herself the task of comforting poor baby R in her time of need. R has a severe ear ache and is sleeping on the couch with Clover under her arm, after having be…
A story with sad bits and happy bits
You remember Harriet and B, the housemules, don't you? They are not quite right as mules go (no hooves, poor tails, deformed faces and hips) but they are good, shiny animals. They have good taste in food (hay, not kibble) and generall…
Drumroll . . . .
Introducing, in order of their appearance:
Burzum
Bowdoin (pronounced BO-din)
and Briony Bluebell.
Briony Bluebell has contracted tendons and will be under a vet's care—we expect this issue to resolve. Look for updates about her progre…
A heartfelt apology
Sorry always sounds better when it comes with a puppy, right? I'm sorry it's been almost a month since I blogged here. It's been a busy month, full of birthdays and graduations and potlucks and muleback rides. Forgive me, and ple…
Silly FarmWife
So . . . have you ever checked your facts and checked again? Have you ever been so very convinced that your facts were straight that you got everyone in a tizzy about your particularly important and correct conviction? Have you then discov…
Top view
This is B.G. at 161 days gestation.
Normal gestation is 150 days, give or take.
FarmWife is getting worried, and is hoping to talk to the vet again today about the possibility of inducing labor.
(Come on, B.G.—it's not too late for hea…
The Bold and the Brayful: misbehavior and the art of predictability
Reprinted with permission from the Brayer, the magazine of the American Donkey and Mule Society. I
don't know if I have had a chance yet to tell you this: I am
imperfect. Not by much, I assure you! I am perfectly handsome (albeit
pearsh…
Lightbulb
I, Fenway Bartholomule, have just had the most splendiferous and amazing idea yet!
What do we have? We have:
A) A small farm, where little acreage means little gardening jobs.
B) A FarmWife with a big hankering to use draft power.
C) A la…
Par-tay!
The humans had a party yesterday, and while B.G. failed to produce bouncing baby goats to entertain the guests, I'd say it was a success overall. There were cakes, salads, chips, beans, juices, beers, dips, and . . . . drumroll . . . …
I'm in charge
FarmWife has left me with a bunch of supplies like garbage bags, towels, delivery blankets, sterilized scissors, a bulb syringe, a veterinary thermometer, iodine, paper towels, a telephone, and the vet's phone number. I'm in charg…
Sniff, sniff
http://eventingnation.com/home/2011/06/rembering-phantom-pursuit.html
I'm not crying, really. I just have something in my big brown eye.
Sniff.
Cinema
It's not uncommon for FarmWife's interest in mules and FarmHusband's interest in Clint Eastwood movies to intersect. In this clip, Clint's character Joe reminds the bad guys that a mule's opinion really does matter: http…
Yay internet!
Blogger now has a new mobile device template—this means that you iHoof users are going to see a sleek, streamlined alternative every time you visit Brays of Our Lives. Yay internet!
If you're new to the World Wide Web, you might be won…
These are the things
These are the things FarmWife could do next week:
She could donate blood to the Red Cross.
She could mentor a child.
She could write a book.
She could dine out at any of a number of fine establishments.
She could learn to crochet.
She cou…
Me versus Cletus
For my Facebook friend Maroly n, who was asked to comment on my big butt and who gave this answer: "Get yourself an English saddle. Worked for Cletus. Makes you look manly and muscular." Marolyn, there's chubby and then there&#…
The real tragedy
You know what the real tragedy here is, right?
The real tragedy is that I, Fenway Bartholomule, am too big for the hammock.
Ten reasons to envy me, Fenway Bartholomule
1) I am a) the most large, b) the most attractive, and c) the most important outdoor animal at Bent Barrow Farm. This also makes me the best.
2) I have corporate sponsors and a magazine column. No one else in the family can say that.
3) I …
Ten reasons to envy FarmWife
1) She knows exactly when her birthday is. This means she gets presents and cake on the exact same day each year, no matter what. As for me, I know I was born in Oct. 1994. At least I get my presents and cake within a couple weeks of my a…
Slither for the roses
With spring comes everyone's favorite sporting event—and no, I'm not talking about the Kentucky Derby or Spring Training. That's right, folks, it's snail race time! The best things about snail races? 1) Spectators can get up …
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