I have chickens at my house, which is helpful: they poop on the grasses, making them greener; they peck the poops, making them cleaner; they cluck contentedly in beautiful harmony with my brays; they leave their rainbow feathers lying abou…
Duets
Arrietty and I have mastered a powerful feat of mind control: by simultaneously whuffling at FarmWife at the bedtime check, we can obtain a third meal. I say, "hee-hee-hooo." Arrietty says, "whee-hee-huh." I flare my l…
Colorful memories
When you are a 14 year-old girl with a shiny new horse, a couple of rolls of colored electrical tape, and an accomodating mother, anything is possible. This is FarmWife on Dor, whom she had owned for a total of the three days (and whom she…
FarmWife's nostalgic treasury
FarmWife recently happened upon (was handed—by her mother—) a box full of hundreds—no, thousands!—of childhood photos, most of which include one or another of the cherished horses of her life. I'll share four now, but there are at leas…
To my friend Judy
To my friend Judy, who wondered if Arrietty is exposed to too much food in the presence of a great robust chap like myself, Fenway Bartholomule: Arrietty and I are both tremendously easy keepers. We share a single slender flake of wilted br…
Fenway and Arrietty, as described by Fenway "Seuss" Bartholomule
Up mule, down mule, tan mule, brown mule,
plump mule, round mule, stroll through town mule. This one sparkles like a star, This one has a great big scar. Say, what delightful mules they are!
Yes, one is brown and one is tan,
Both are lovely,…
The June Monsoon
The internet says we have had two hours of rain today, whereas reality says something along the lines of twelve or more hours of precipitation interspersed with five-minute reprieves in the form of a cold, hanging mist. This is a lesson to …
Fathers Day repost: Ode to a Jack, my Father
Ode to a Jack, my Father
written by Fenway Bartholomule, June 2010
With ears so long
And bray so strong
And hooves like solid rock,
You were so mighty,
Never flighty,
Always taking stock.
You never flinched
when harnessed, cinched,
You c…
An open letter to Larry Simpson, editor at The Van Horn Advocate
Dear Editor,
As a mule owner, animal lover, and columnist for the Brayer (the journal of the American Donkey and Mule Society) I have come to understand that donkeys are among the most sensitive, empathetic, and tolerant of animal species.…
Exercise
Good news! One month with a perfectly normal hock means I'm approved for hand-walking exercise away from home. I practiced by going to the chapel a couple of weeks ago (<1/4 mile) and came home unscathed. Yesterday, I took my wee Ar…
Poem by Rob Lewis
I found this on the Coal Free Bellingham website and wanted to share, as I think it captures the extraordinary qualities of this region well: A Berry Land Preamble by Rob Lewis Whereas. . . dairy farms and the Little Cheerful, sweet juice in t…
Steven Colbert and COTH dare you
http://gawker.com/5917976/stephen-colberts-new-favorite-athlete-is-mitt-romneys-dressage-horse The response to Steven Colbert's recent segment (linked above) promoting dressage as the official Colbert Report Sport of the Summer is large…
A meal time revision suggested in iambic pentameter
I've tried suggesting the addition of brunch, lunch, tea, and dessert to my menu before. I've tried it by braying, and I've tried it by whining piteously, and I've tried it through silent pleading with these big brown eyes…
Why is Arrietty so cute?
Astute reader Sally dared to ask the million dollar question: why is Miss Arrietty G. Teaspoon so cute? Ah, it seems so simple. The answer, I'm afraid, is rather more complex than one might think!
I did a little thinking with this gre…
A nice difference
FarmWife had a "gone all day, no time for mules" sort of day today. That's OK: instead of a "gone all day, no time for mules, poor Fenway stuck alone at home with only goats and poultry for company" day, it was a &…
Libraries
Have I raved yet about the miracle that is the public library? If not, let me do so now. What brilliant innovator of democracy decided that we should all have access to books? Books of every kind, and at no charge, and in whatever numbers w…
Reprinted from the Brayer: Dreams Deferred
If you were wondering, my hock is doing better this month! It's nearly normal, and I'm sound to walk, trot, and canter in the field and to walk (in hand) around Wickersham. Things aren't nearly as bad as FarmWife thought they …
Hello, Musée du Louvre?
Hello, Musée du Louvre? I have some fine art for you! (On second thought, they can't have it. They would have to wrest this painting out of FarmWife's cold, dead fingers.)
Shaila Tenorio is more than my artist—she is my friend. Wh…
The Pioneer Woman
Ree Drummond plows through life, one calf nut at a time, and an audience throngs at her feet. Whenever I mention I'm a blogger with livestock, I hear her name: "Oh, like the Pioneer Woman." People love her. A blog. One post af…
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! (That's the singing of a heavenly choir)
My painting is here, and everything I ever thought about its potential quality is confirmed x10. You are going to flip your respective lids, my friends, when you see the monumental beauty and mulishness of this work.
I don't have a go…
My birthday
I woke up on my birthday, sandwiched between a really spectacular husband and a really spectacular dog, and took an inventory of my blessings: three charming daughters, a home of which I am proud, a well-groomed acre exploding with spring,…
Happy Birthday to you
Birthdays and spa days go hand in hand, right? That's why I invited FarmWife to spend her special Saturday picking debris off my topline, trimming stray hairs from my mane and tail, swabbing boogers out of my nostrils, picking mud clod…
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