FarmWife is glad she has FarmHusband. I'm glad, too, because there's only so much sharing a mule likes to do.
Ears to moderation!
FenBar
The garden is a fickle lady
In our five years at Bent Barrow Farm, we've had good potato years and bad leek years; great years for basil and poor years for broccoli; bountiful greens and lousy root crops, and the other way round. We've had bumper crops of thi…
For everything else, there's MasterCard
Mule: $1500
Goats: $400
Woven wire field fencing: $1400
Hay (per bale): $3 to $14, depending upon the season
The happiness on FarmWife's face when three goats and a mule face are in her lap, ready for scratching: Priceless.
Overdue thanks
I'm a little overdue to bray a hearty thanks to some of my online friends—first, Zelda the Zorse and her kind human caregivers, who worked in cooperation with John from Hahahorses.com to get FarmWife a really nifty Zorse t-shirt last …
Five things you'll never hear me say
1) Please, FarmWife, can we go walk on that yellow painted line?
2) No carrots for me, thank you. I'm watching my weight.
3) Of course you may clean my sheath! So nice of you to offer.
4) Trail riding and jumping are so last year—can w…
Patchwork Mule
FarmWife and FarmHusband have plenty in common, not the least of which is an appreciation for patchwork things. FarmHusband once released an album entitled Patchwork Girl with his former band, and I'd like to think that he called it t…
A comedy of errors
Here's what FarmWife wrote about this ridiculous little movie when she uploaded it to Youtube today: "There are a couple of humorous and humbling moments in this film, which I took as a means of seeing myself cantering on Fenway Ba…
Sinister rainbows
I looked out the kitchen window this afternoon to hear my kindergartener shrieking, "what is it?! Daddy! It's scary!" and to see my husband and daughters staring at the sky, eyes sheilded against the sun, mouths agape. From m…
Somewhere entirely new
These are photos of me, Fenway Bartholomule, standing Somewhere Entirely New.
We have a well described circuit of well-beaten paths, FarmWife and I, and because of various roads and gates and rivers and what have you we are generally lim…
A Herd Animal
Here is something else you might not know about me . . . I play well with others. Although I live alone (except for my goats, the chickens, FarmWife, and an assortment of house creatures), I am always up for a chance to meet new equines.*…
Massage
Here is the other thing about me: I am not a mule of great indulgence when it comes to enjoying the tactical pleasures of touch. Generally, these are the rules for grooming Fenway Bartholomule . . . .
1) you may rub my ears, but only if y…
Timber framers
Timber framers, it turns out, are a wonderful sort. I've known this, of course. I married one. Many of my good friends are timber framers. My own timber framer happens to be my best friend. The art and craft of timber framing has inspire…
The challenge of gaining my affection
I'm a one-person mule. I liked my old person, Jim, and now I've got a new person and I like her. Her name is FarmWife.
I've met some other people, too. The human fillies, who go for rides on my back, and who groom me, and who …
Nothing compares 2 U
Sung to the tune of Nothing compares 2 U: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUiTQvT0W_0
(ears to Prince for writing it and to Sinead o'Connor for singing it best!)
It's been seven hours and a couple of days . . .
Since you took your …
Enough with the reminiscing
Come home, FarmWife! It's rainy, and there's no one here to change my blankie for me. (I can't possibly let FarmHusband do it . . . the straps cross far too close to my tickly bits. I've been left naked, since we're in …
My third ever blog post
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 2009 The Fenway Park Connection There have been questions (thank you, Becky) about whether Fenway Park was named after me. I can only answer to those who are willing to suspend their disbelief in the paranormal, becau…
My second ever blog post
HERE IS MY SECOND-EVER BLOG POST: WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 2009 The Seven Responsibilities of Fenway Bartholomule To the uninformed, it may appear that I spend nearly all of every day standing around or nibbling tender grasses, but I think it …
A walk down memory lane
Since My farmwife is leaving me this week, I'm going to spend the time moping about and remembering the good old days—they days when she was here with me, daily, to provide companionship, ear rubs, and blog post transcription services. …
My Other Goat's a Coat Rack
Here's Missy, who's actually been packin' on the pounds over the winter. You may remember that she had a mysterious, paralyzing illness last August, and that she just about died, and that she couldn't stand for a full two w…
My goat's a boat
My goat is pregnant. She is supposed to wait four more weeks before kidding, as she's due on June 5th.
FarmWife recalls that this doe's mother is the tiniest saanen there is, and yet somehow managed to produce 11 and 13 pound kids…
Musing upon the subject of my mother
I have a hard time remembering my mother. A warm, dark udder . . . two graceful ears . . . the smell of warm milk. Black stockings, soaked in dew. There are only flashes—pictures, and scents. The sound of her delicate whinny, like the tril…
California
I had a nightmare last night in which I was walking through a dusty northern California town, sobbing because of the beauty of it and because I was homesick for the oak-dotted hills of my youth. Then a seven-fingered man came running out o…
Other things to do with tires
Sometimes a mule has to put his hoof down. "FarmWife!" I commanded, "thou shalt find an alternative use for thy evil tire!" Sick of dragging the thing about, I suggested that she might enjoy building an earthship .
Wel…
Bloodsuckers
Two nights ago, FarmWife noted that the flies were back. They're not the big, boring fatties that lounge about on your average manure pile—they come from the swamp, and they're brown, tiny, and evil. They're like an F-22 Rapto…
Ix-Nay on the Ow-Play
I told FarmWife that I simply CAN'T pull a tire anymore. It's just too scary. I pull a travois just fine, but the sound of that horrible, heavy thing dragging behind me is just too much. I told FarmWife that I actually want one of …
A new paint job
I think my trailer is about due for a new paint job. I've got it all planned out (although I sort of want it to be yellow . . . and FarmWife sort of wants it to be white). What do you think?
FenBar
Dear FarmWife
Dear FarmWife,
I love carrying you down the trail. I love jumping over logs with you. I love walking down the dappled byways and cantering up the meandering lanes of Wickersham with you. I love carrying your children, your visitors, and ev…
That was then
Have you ever noticed that the things that made you happy when you were a foal are the things that still make you happy today? For me, it's grass, hay, and ear rubs. Drinking from the trough, then extending my wet tongue to catch 60 o…
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