Skip to main content

Massage

Here is the other thing about me: I am not a mule of great indulgence when it comes to enjoying the tactical pleasures of touch. Generally, these are the rules for grooming Fenway Bartholomule . . . .

1) you may rub my ears, but only if you ask first. If you are FarmWife, I will enjoy it. If you are the oldest filly, I will enjoy it. If you are anyone else, I will permit it but it is really going to be more for you than for me. That is just how it is. 

2) you may scratch me on my sides, above the rib cage, gently. You may rub me over my eyes (closed) with the palms of your hands, firmly but not firmly enough to damage my big brown orbs. You may massage the sides of my face, from jowl to nostril, towards the nose with a downward, stroking motion. These are the touches I enjoy, and all others are simply tolerated.

3) when it comes to grooming me, you can clean me to your heart's content anywhere except on my sheath but I won't do any of this flappy-lipped, giraffe-necked ecstasy business. That's for weaker mules than me. 

But . . . but!! Here is the thing that happened yesterday: 

FarmWife groomed me. She rubbed my ears (I liked it). She massaged my face (I sighed). She cradled my head against her chest, and I closed my eyes and sank into her embrace. Then, ever so sneakily, she scratched the itchy spot above my ribcage. I liked it. She scratched, and scratched, and scratched, and my sleek little lip began to quiver. She scratched, and scratched, and my lip jiggled, and wiggled, and I sighed, and I stretched, and before I knew it she was scratching and rubbing my entire body from tail to poll and I was stretched out like a tennessee walker on valium! My eyes were closed, my mouth was agape, and I was, for the first time in my almost seventeen years of life, getting and enjoying a massage. FarmWife lifted my ribcage and stretched my tail and jiggled my crest and generally manipulated my body in ways it's never been manipulated, and then she left me stretched out like a wet towel. I nickered a "wait, don't go," then trotted after her with my ears all dopey-floppy and springs under my feet.  

It was nice. 

FenBar





Comments

  1. I have to comment because I have 2 TWH and they loooooove body scritches. My 1100 lb gelding will try to get in my lap. I love my boys and have the trashed finger nails to show it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. sue and the girls WInd River WoolenMay 18, 2011 at 4:26 PM

    "Like a Tennesee Walker on valium-" has got to be one of the greatest lines ever! Good one Fen. Hugs from the girls, Sue

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks in Advance for Your Mulish Opinion!

Popular Posts

Here are the Cloud Dog's X-Rays

Here, for your edification, are the X-rays of dear Paisley's leg. There is, apparently, no new break (since his Monday siezure) but there is, of course, a great deal of abnormality caused by years of living with a shortened ulna. His pronounced lameness, the vet says, may temporarily improve. Unlike me, Fenway Bartholomule, poor cloud dog can't expect much in the way of a full recovery.   Not having the $$$$ for surgery to fuse the joint, we are working on making some sort of rigid splint to support the limb and prevent further degeneration. That is, the humans (with their space-age material inventions and their opposable thumbs) are working on making a splint; I am working on giving cloud dog brayful looks of support and encouragement every time he totters into the yard to relieve himself. As always, he fears me (me?!) and keeps his distance.  Ears to you,  Fenway

Vegan Spring Rolls

I, Fenway Bartholomule, am a vegan: of course I only eat plants, not people! My human is too, so I'm sharing my blog with her today so that she can participate in the 2014 Virtual Vegan Potluck ! When you're done perusing the recipe for these delicious spring rolls, click "back" or "forward" for the entire potluck experience! Virtual Vegan Potluck: Spring Roll Appetizers Beautiful? Check. Healthy? Check. Delicious? Check. Easy? Check. Fancy? Check. Quick to clean up after? Check. Vegan? OF COURSE! If you're looking for something portable, colorful, and crowd-pleasing for your next potluck, look no further than these simple vegan spring rolls! The best part? You can substitute ANYTHING. I never make these the same way twice, so play around with cilantro, kale, cabbage, scallions, or whatever you think sounds good! Ingredients Veggie mix: 2 carrots (grated) 4 oz mung bean sprouts 1/3 cup chopped peanuts (raw, or roasted and salted) or ...

Catastrophy

This is the emergency broadcast system. This is not a test. I was going to entertain you with more haiku today, but something terrible has happened. I need your support. Today was supposed to be a regular spa day—a nice little hoofie trim, a fresh mane roach, an ear massage, and a handful of sunflower seeds (for shine). Instead of merely taking care of my beauty routine, however, FarmWife spent a full hour in contemplation of and attention to my overall physique. The upshot? A revision of my condition from Plump to Obese. (Her actual words, upon removing my blanket for the first time in a few days, were "Oh my God! You've ballooned!") She has decided that my fatness has become a health risk, and has resolved to exercise me as often as possible. It gets dark at 4:30. Her husband gets home at 5:30. She has small children and no sitter. This, my friends, means that I will end up being longed. Longed at the end of a stupid, smelly old rope. Forced to walk and trot...

Mowers and raccoons and steers, oh my!

In my informal Facebook survey I learned that the majority of Friends of the Muleness want more stories—All the Stories!—and that the story they want most of all is the story of the raccoon.  Farmwife says it's hardly a story at all, and that it would be something to talk about had the raccoon been in my barn, or touching my body, or gesticulating at me with it's bizarrely human little fingers to indicate that it would like a little snack or help with its homework. Alas, this is not that kind of story.  Before I tell you about the raccoon I have to go backwards and tell you that I am feeling very good in my body these days. My track through the forest has been expanded, my laminitis is at bay, and my health has been very largely excellent since I came here to the Atomic Ranch in December. I am feeling so good, in fact, that I have been cleared for long walks around the neighborhood! Puck, Farmwife, and I sometimes make the long loop up Saratoga and back around Fox Spit, which ...