This is the emergency broadcast system. This is not a test.
I was going to entertain you with more haiku today, but something terrible has happened. I need your support.
Today was supposed to be a regular spa day—a nice little hoofie trim…
Just a Guess
It's too early to call it yet, but early predictions show that Clover the Chihuahua is poised to snatch the title of Best Dog Ever in her tiny, adorable little jaws. I am swept off my feet! Every quality that a dog should have is here, …
Bent Barrow Haiku (5 of 10)
A good sort, a dear—
I, Fenway Bartholomule,
Am really quite swell.
Jasper Jules, a tool?
Yes, rather—but a nice guy,
and a strapping one!
B.G., dear loud girl—
chatty, insistent talker—
you ever shut up?
Missy, you're not tall!
How …
Clicker Questions
My FarmWife owns a clicker. She owns a treat-apron, loaded with delectable morsels. She owns a food-motivated yet respectful mule—one who waits for a treat to be presented rather than going after it himself, that is. I have the manners an…
5 Projects that Aren't Happening
FarmWife has a handy little mental list of impending projects. Seeing as she can't even find time to ride her dear Fenway Bartholomule more than once per month, however, I think most of them fall more into the category of "dream&…
A wildly busy week
Bad news: a wildly busy week means I haven't blogged (though Fenway somehow still manages HIS daily posts). Good news: we've been busy with all sorts of fun. Paid work (always good) has wrested my time away from Puddle Run, and then…
How FarmWife got a Christmas Puppy
How FarmWife got a Christmas puppy: An instructive story by Fenway Bartholomule.
1. FarmWife was approached by the potential puppy-giver (FarmHusband) several weeks in advance of the holiday. The subject was broached, FarmWife got her cla…
Shhh! Don't tell!
Don't tell L. at SYA, but FarmWife opened our Christmas present early! It arrived in the mail today and she couldn't help herself. It is SPECTACULAR! A treat apron, bedecked with the stunning visage of yours truly, and perfectly s…
Christmas at a show barn
Dedicated to my FarmWife, Marnie.
Sung to the tune of "The Christmas Song," aka "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire."
♬♩ Chestnuts boasting of their famous sires, Rude dogs nipping at your nose, Ringside gossip being spr…
Trail ridin' mule
I'm a trail ridin' mule. It appears at the top of my resume as a bullet point, right underneath "hay eater," "best friend," and "splendiferous brayer." It is one of the several hundred best things abo…
Tags from Fetching Tags/Collar from Blocky Dogs
All those sleepless nights spent lying awake worrying which article of tack to tag—halter? Collar? Snaffle bridle? Harness? In the end, the folks at Fetching Tags intuited my need and sent FOUR tags for yours truly! Amazing. They're sp…
Caroling
Well, here's the caroling recap. I, Fenway Bartholomule, dressed up in my garlands, bells, Santa hat and pretty new collar. I welcomed a dozen or so guests to Bent Barrow Farm, and we caroled hither and thither through the picturesque…
Food Guilt
Unlike 90%* of American consumers, I think about what goes into the food I eat. I notice the mono and diglycerides, the modified corn starch, the sodium stearoyl lactylate, and the partially hydrogenated soybean oil. As a fallen vegan, I no…
Two Flocks
Larval human #2: "Mama, may I please have two flocks of five olives?"
At left: the end result of her creative scheming.
FarmWife's overall impression: Flocks of olives? Cute. Two times five? Early math—this kid's going pl…
Ask Fenway: A question from Luther
This question comes from Luther, a shiny brown mule and the equine proprietor of Fetching Tags . Hearty Greeting Brays to you, Brother Fenway, I am writing to seek your advice concerning an inconstancy of sorts. As troubling as it is to me,…
My new collar!
Look what the folks at Blocky Dogs have made for me! As you may know, I like to stroll home bitless after a ride. I always look forward tremendously to the removal of my bridle, and now FarmWife can be assured that I am safely and fashiona…
Calendar update
Here's the deal, folks—I promised FarmWife I would sell all of my bumper stickers and magnets before the holidays. It was a condition of being allowed to drop some more dough on calendar printing, and unfortunately I did not meet my go…
A copy of my letter to photographer Tim Flach
Dear Tim,
I just wanted to send you a note (one of millions, I'm sure) commending you on your exhilarating and unique work. Your animal photography, in particular, takes my breath away. I am a mule, and my heart girth measures about 70…
Dog business
Allie at www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com could not have more perfectly captured the facial expressions and thought processes of Paisley (left, with the grin) and and Story (right, with the anguish) if she had known them personally. So w…
Things everyone should see
First there was Hyperbole and a Half, and then there is the photography of Tim Flach. Most of us have seen these around the internet, but if you haven't yet you should. Google his name, I beg you. There is so much muleness in his work…
Hyperbole
This is a blog for mules, about mules, and by mules. Today, however, I must share something dog-related. It is a work by Allie Brosh, and you can find more like it at www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com. As Allie states on her site, it is s…
FEMA
FEMA (Fenway's Emergency Management Action).
Here's the deal, guys—my good friends the Chicken People are stranded on an island.
It is not unusual for Wickersham to get wet. In fact, it is not unusual for Wickersham to get so wet …
Blatant Sponsor Promotion
I can't help it. I know I already recommended Nicker Stickers to you last week—they're just plain great. I wasn't going to mention them again, but my decals are here and they're AWESOME! I could not believe the turnaround t…
Talkin' 'bout the weather
In a break from tradition, and in protest against the cold November and wet December we've had, I have strategically relocated my manure pile from outside the shed to inside . It is, of course, still a tidy pile—anything less would be u…
We all have our things
We all have our thing, don't we? Some thing we're great at, inspired by, or destined for? Something that charges us up, sets us straight, or fixes our woes? Animals are that thing for me, and I've never been in any doubt of tha…
Dear Fenway
" Dear Fenway, Hi, it's me again, David 4D. Thanks so much for your reply/advice on the mane issue. I hear you might like to answer more questions. Well, I do have another....it comes up at this time of year, and is a point of …
A limerick
There once was a mule in the West
Whose insight was simply the best.
He declared, "have a need?
"I can help, guaranteed!"
He doled out advice on request.
Have a burning question? A dilemma of etiquette or morality? I promise…
A New Sponsor—Welcome Nicker Stickers!
Anine at Nicker Stickers is friendly, creative, and full of mulish good will. She's also the world's best vendor of customizable, unique mule decals! I fell head over heels for her products at first sight, and FarmWife rather fanc…
Santa
It has been decided, for a variety of reasons, that I will not be sitting in Santa's lap this year. For one thing, Santa is coming to my local feedstore this Saturday and it would be a shame if he were somehow mortally wounded just 14…
An Eagley Day
I'm lucky to live in a place where wildlife blooms in abundance: where deer, bobcat, eagles, bear, and elk exist and flourish. On a typical drive into town last week, D and I counted 14 eagles in two trees next to Lake Whatcom; on our r…
Problems for which there are no solutions.
There is no red-eye correction in the world that can handle a problem this big.
There is no vacuum cleaner in the world that can make short work of this dog's hair. (And yes, we do own a Dyson and we do use The Furminator . . . they …
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