Gravel: I've got some.
I won't mention that when the gravel truck came to dump it, I panicked in the adjacent paddock and spent a good two minutes careening madly with the terror of my horse-brained ancestors.
No, that will be a l…
Summary of birthdays
This week marks D's birthday (seven) and R's half-birthday (four and a half). M is almost 12. My mule is turning 17 next month. Clover and Paisley are almost two and almost ten. Missy will be nine and a half next week and her daugh…
Cruel unfairness
FarmWife and the goats conspired to make me the most jealous mule ever yesterday: first, FarmWife took wee Briony Bluebell into the yard for some gamboling about, some eating of delicious leaves, and some being photographed. She let Brion…
One way of thinking
Watching "The Wilderness Family" got me to thinking about what I want with life—no, I don't want to wrestle pet bears in retro bellbottoms, but I do want a more self-sufficient life. I do want a handmade house. I do want to g…
My look-a-like movie star
I am a reincarnation of a famous actor mule—seen here in this scene from The Wilderness Family (1975). He looks so much like me that FarmHusband did a double-take, FarmWife swooned, and the children yelled, "Fenway!" when they s…
Bicycle it is
FarmWife wanted to get D a little donkey with a cart and harness for her birthday. FarmHusband wanted to get D a new bicycle for her birthday. FarmWife said, "and we can get ponies for the other girls." FarmHusband said, "a…
The coolest necklace ever
FarmWife has THE COOLEST NECKLACE EVER. Period. And yes, I'm shouting. It's that cool. It's like the one at the link below, except it's ME! Could it get any better? http://www.etsy.com/listing/75483666/dressage-horse-glass-t…
A bit of clarification
I did not mean to imply by yesterday's photo caption that I intend ever to pull a buggy for FarmWife. Goodness, no! No, I'll have none of that. All I meant to suggest was that if her Volvo were to fall out of service she might enj…
Rakin' in the dough
FarmWife has hardly ridden me at all this week, and do you know why? She is busy making sick amounts of money! Money for things like gravel, hay, rain sheets, and maybe someday a replacement for the poor old Volvo hay mother.
FarmWife is …
The chicken lady
You guys might remember my friend the chicken lady, who used to live on a sheep- and fowl-infested parcel here in Wickersham but who now lives in a delicious, if arid, wildflower meadow. Well, if you don't remember her you can just use…
Rub-a-dub-dub
I had the very first bath of my life today. Now, FarmWife had been promising all summer to trailer me over to our local posh eventing barn, where she's got an open invitation to use the wash rack, but now her trailer has gone and brok…
round foods-report on last weeks baking
The donuts—eh, I dunno. I kind of like the sickly sweet, deep-fried variety one gets at the donut shop. This low-fat, wholesome alternative just isn't the same. The bagels—awesome. I will make them again (and again and again and again).…
Oh, FarmWife!
That gravel you talked about buying me? Yeah. Um . . . there's no time like the present. Not to be grabby, but the rainy season around here tends to be . . . well, rainy. Mud abatement is best done before there's a whole lot of m…
Aborted bray
FarmWife's oldest human child is getting terribly tall. She's almost FarmWife-like in her appearance, so much so that I saw her coming tonight and screamed "FaaaaaaarmWi—oh. Nevermind." My aborted bray, transcribed in Mu…
Clarifying a point
Just so there's no confusion, let me restate a point: I am FarmWife's Best and Only mule. I am her one true love (except for her husband, who is her other one true love, and maybe the chihuahua). I am adored.
Yes, she goes off and…
The underlying truth
FarmWife once fell under the sway of an evil rhododendron bush. I will tell you what happened: she took me close to the bush, and the bush hypnotized her and compelled her to do something evil. It compelled her to open my mouth and, using…
For Sale
For sale: two baby goats. Very cute. Very loud. Very rascally.
These baby goats managed to go through a fence that had been holding me, Fenway Bartholomule, for nigh on three years. A fence that has held in Jasper Jules (all 200 pounds of…
A happy day
I am joyful—not only do I have donuts and bagels rising in the kitchen downstairs, a beautiful child playing at my feet, a handsome mule standing outside my window, and a glossy canine sleeping in my lap, but I've got all this and a re…
Yellow hair story
Oh, yellow and white and black hair—and lots of it! FarmWife, whose mule trailer is broken, went away for a day. When she came back she had this—photographic evidence of her date with a muppet. "You couldn't have come," she …
Jealous feelings
Monday is the day when FarmWife goes to the big city. On a typical Monday, she works and she sometimes visits the feed store and Costco. This is what she comes back with:
Salmon kibble (for the dogs)
Chicken kibble (for the cats)
Layer pe…
Motherly boasting
One of these girls started 6th grade this week. Another lost her front tooth and learned to ride a bike without training wheels. Another learned to wash the dishes (and darned well, her mother would like to add). I personally think that n…
Thwat-at-at-at-at-at-at-at-at
What's that sound? That's the sound of FarmWife's belt clearing her belt loops. (Duck!)
I want to take a moment to talk about domestic violence. I want to tell you how my woman beats me, and how she tells me it's "my f…
Smooshy squashy puppy
I haven't forgotten to tell you my third white hair story. It's just that I've been busy eating blackberries, and taking dust baths, and carrying FarmWife down the trail. Plus, I've honestly begun to question whether it…
Dear Texan: have you lost your mule?
http://s1096.photobucket.com/albums/g328/JWBitler/?action=view¤t=BurnedMule1.jpg This poor critter was badly burned but will live—he is being treated at Elgin Veterinary Hospital for burns. Call 512-285-3395 if you know where he b…
Coffee table—er, mule—of the week
I thought I was short and stout, and then I saw Molly. Molly is TRULY a mule of little leg. A dwarf, I think?
Do any of you humans want to have her in the living room with you, holding your popcorn, or is it just FarmWife? http://www.dreamh…
More about Paisley and his haircut
There was one additional benefit to Paisley's getting shorn—he got his collar back.
Do you remember his collar ? It was a very fancy one, a gift from our friends at Paco Collars , and more beautiful than one can even imagine. The very n…
White hair stories II
Here's the next biggest white hair story of my week—Paisley, Clouddog, has been revised. He is now Paisley, version 2.1—naked mole rat edition.
The story goes like this: Paisley was a dog of abundant hair. When he ran, his hair bill…
White hair stories
The first of three white hair stories: FarmWife came home covered in them. It turns out she has been seeing another equine! This horse—a CCI** eventer with a fancy schmancy brand—actually likes to do things like trot in circles, leg yiel…
My family is shrinking
Having been, lately, in a "few dollars, many mouths" situation, the humans have set themselves the task of selling some goats and giving away some chickens. We are down two hoofbeasts (Burzum went to live at a local farm as a f…
Back to school for baby humans
This is what happened this morning:
I'm told it will happen five mornings out of every seven for the next nine months.
A) the good news is that our biggest and middlest human children are off learning important things (how to deliver…
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