Skip to main content

The challenge of gaining my affection

This sort of friendship takes time.
I'm a one-person mule. I liked my old person, Jim, and now I've got a new person and I like her. Her name is FarmWife.

I've met some other people, too. The human fillies, who go for rides on my back, and who groom me, and who bring the occasional carrot. The vet, who tortures me to within an inch of my one, splendid, precious life. FarmHusband, whom FarmWife promises is one of the world's best men. The neighbors, and the occasional doting fan. I accept them. I neither bite nor kick.

I don't really adore meeting other people, though, and the fact is that I have a bit of a personal space bubble with everyone but FarmWife. They can touch me (some places), they can feed me (of course!) and they can ride me (if FarmWife offers a leg up) but they can't cuddle me and reap the reward of my affection. I'm not that kind of mule.

Here is how it goes when I meet someone new: he offers me pats, and handfuls of grass, and succulent fruits and vegetables. I accept the offerings, and then I stomp away with wrinkled nostrils. I stand a dozen feet off, ears at half mast, and sneer at him with a look of unguarded distain. (I don't mean to . . . that's just how my face is sometimes!) If he approaches again, I flinch from his touch. If I am haltered, I become a biddable slave. I'll stand with him, and be groomed by him, and be led by him, but I will not relax into a devoted friendship with him. I am not like that.

Well, his feelings are hurt. Who can blame him?

So let me tell you now—when this happens to you, please don't take offense. Come again! Bring fruits and vegetables. We will work through it, you and I. I am a big, soft, squishy, lovable angel under this cold, suspicious exterior. I promise.


Ears,
Fenway Bartholomule

Comments

  1. Sounds an awful lot like Erin's horse, Willie. He's very polite and a gentle soul, but he doesn't warm up to new people very quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There's no shame in being particular. I was very particular when I first was dealing with humans. I have come to find, though, I like most all of them, particularly if Mother is around.

    Otherwise, especially males and really especially if he is wearing a hat or seems uncertain at all... well, you'll have to work for it.

    Boyfriend

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks in Advance for Your Mulish Opinion!

Popular Posts

Here are the Cloud Dog's X-Rays

Here, for your edification, are the X-rays of dear Paisley's leg. There is, apparently, no new break (since his Monday siezure) but there is, of course, a great deal of abnormality caused by years of living with a shortened ulna. His pronounced lameness, the vet says, may temporarily improve. Unlike me, Fenway Bartholomule, poor cloud dog can't expect much in the way of a full recovery.   Not having the $$$$ for surgery to fuse the joint, we are working on making some sort of rigid splint to support the limb and prevent further degeneration. That is, the humans (with their space-age material inventions and their opposable thumbs) are working on making a splint; I am working on giving cloud dog brayful looks of support and encouragement every time he totters into the yard to relieve himself. As always, he fears me (me?!) and keeps his distance.  Ears to you,  Fenway

Vegan Spring Rolls

I, Fenway Bartholomule, am a vegan: of course I only eat plants, not people! My human is too, so I'm sharing my blog with her today so that she can participate in the 2014 Virtual Vegan Potluck ! When you're done perusing the recipe for these delicious spring rolls, click "back" or "forward" for the entire potluck experience! Virtual Vegan Potluck: Spring Roll Appetizers Beautiful? Check. Healthy? Check. Delicious? Check. Easy? Check. Fancy? Check. Quick to clean up after? Check. Vegan? OF COURSE! If you're looking for something portable, colorful, and crowd-pleasing for your next potluck, look no further than these simple vegan spring rolls! The best part? You can substitute ANYTHING. I never make these the same way twice, so play around with cilantro, kale, cabbage, scallions, or whatever you think sounds good! Ingredients Veggie mix: 2 carrots (grated) 4 oz mung bean sprouts 1/3 cup chopped peanuts (raw, or roasted and salted) or ...

Catastrophy

This is the emergency broadcast system. This is not a test. I was going to entertain you with more haiku today, but something terrible has happened. I need your support. Today was supposed to be a regular spa day—a nice little hoofie trim, a fresh mane roach, an ear massage, and a handful of sunflower seeds (for shine). Instead of merely taking care of my beauty routine, however, FarmWife spent a full hour in contemplation of and attention to my overall physique. The upshot? A revision of my condition from Plump to Obese. (Her actual words, upon removing my blanket for the first time in a few days, were "Oh my God! You've ballooned!") She has decided that my fatness has become a health risk, and has resolved to exercise me as often as possible. It gets dark at 4:30. Her husband gets home at 5:30. She has small children and no sitter. This, my friends, means that I will end up being longed. Longed at the end of a stupid, smelly old rope. Forced to walk and trot...

Mowers and raccoons and steers, oh my!

In my informal Facebook survey I learned that the majority of Friends of the Muleness want more stories—All the Stories!—and that the story they want most of all is the story of the raccoon.  Farmwife says it's hardly a story at all, and that it would be something to talk about had the raccoon been in my barn, or touching my body, or gesticulating at me with it's bizarrely human little fingers to indicate that it would like a little snack or help with its homework. Alas, this is not that kind of story.  Before I tell you about the raccoon I have to go backwards and tell you that I am feeling very good in my body these days. My track through the forest has been expanded, my laminitis is at bay, and my health has been very largely excellent since I came here to the Atomic Ranch in December. I am feeling so good, in fact, that I have been cleared for long walks around the neighborhood! Puck, Farmwife, and I sometimes make the long loop up Saratoga and back around Fox Spit, which ...