Equestrian Acrobatics, or Finding Your Home

Dear Readers,

Some of you may have seen this inspiring video of stoic drafts under the weight of the spry Cristianis, a family of circus performers so strong and agile that they make even me, Fenway Bartholomule, look a bit out of shape.

The human larvae's first question, upon seeing these miraculous feats, was, "may we try this on Fenway Bartholomule?" My answer would have been, "of course, my dears. Wear soft shoes." FarmWife's, unfortunately, was, "I don't think we're quite strong enough for these tricks, but we can practice our somersaults in the living room!" FarmWife (if I may tell you one of her little secrets) does not even mount me bareback without a block. Remember, folks, that I am 14 hands and three quarters of an inch. She is 5 feet and a generous 10 inches tall, and there are those among us that think her obstacles are mental and not physical. (She is afraid to embarrass herself, I think, in front of me, Fenway Bartholomule.)

Any among you who have been following the occasional posts at Puddle Run will recall that Tanner, the "Too Good To Be True" Paypal horse, figures in as a crazier- than-advertised new gelding. This story has not nearly reached its conclusion, but I'll give you a little spoiler: He turns out, in the end, to be totally inappropriate as a husband horse or dressage mount and totally wonderful for the sport of vaulting! Tanner, pictured, now resides at a vaulting lesson barn where he teaches spry little humans to perform acrobatic feats not unlike those demonstrated above. This is a video of the Paypal horse himself, doing the work for which he placed in the medals at the 2008 American Vaulting Association national championships. Goes to show, as FarmWife's favorite dressage trainer likes to say, that there is a seat for every ass.

Much as FarmWife has parted with her red heeler to to a home where the dog will, one hopes, thrive and blossom, she parted with Tanner in 2007 to a home where he has become a beloved team member and a cherished friend. My own Mr. B parted with me a year ago that I might move up from Lawn Ornament Mule (not that I wasn't well liked as such!) to Beloved and Most Important Mule of FarmWife's Heart. I like my new station in life, and I like it when Mr. B stops by with a pat. It is nice to be an animal in the right home, and Bent Barrow Farm is the right home for me.

Love,
Fenway Bartholomule

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Here are the Cloud Dog's X-Rays

Here, for your edification, are the X-rays of dear Paisley's leg. There is, apparently, no new break (since his Monday siezure) but there is, of course, a great deal of abnormality caused by years of living with a shortened ulna. His pronounced lameness, the vet says, may temporarily improve. Unlike me, Fenway Bartholomule, poor cloud dog can't expect much in the way of a full recovery. Not having the $$$$ for surgery to fuse the joint, we are working on making some sort of rigid splint to support the limb and prevent further degeneration. That is, the humans (with their space-age material inventions and their opposable thumbs) are working on making a splint; I am working on giving cloud dog brayful looks of support and encouragement every time he totters into the yard to relieve himself. As always, he fears me (me?!) and keeps his distance. Ears to you, Fenway

Continued . . .

Vegan Spring Rolls

I, Fenway Bartholomule, am a vegan: of course I only eat plants, not people! My human is too, so I'm sharing my blog with her today so that she can participate in the 2014 Virtual Vegan Potluck ! When you're done perusing the recipe for these delicious spring rolls, click "back" or "forward" for the entire potluck experience! Virtual Vegan Potluck: Spring Roll Appetizers Beautiful? Check. Healthy? Check. Delicious? Check. Easy? Check. Fancy? Check. Quick to clean up after? Check. Vegan? OF COURSE! If you're looking for something portable, colorful, and crowd-pleasing for your next potluck, look no further than these simple vegan spring rolls! The best part? You can substitute ANYTHING. I never make these the same way twice, so play around with cilantro, kale, cabbage, scallions, or whatever you think sounds good! Ingredients Veggie mix: 2 carrots (grated) 4 oz mung bean sprouts 1/3 cup chopped peanuts (raw, or roasted and salted) or ...

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Catastrophy

This is the emergency broadcast system. This is not a test. I was going to entertain you with more haiku today, but something terrible has happened. I need your support. Today was supposed to be a regular spa day—a nice little hoofie trim, a fresh mane roach, an ear massage, and a handful of sunflower seeds (for shine). Instead of merely taking care of my beauty routine, however, FarmWife spent a full hour in contemplation of and attention to my overall physique. The upshot? A revision of my condition from Plump to Obese. (Her actual words, upon removing my blanket for the first time in a few days, were "Oh my God! You've ballooned!") She has decided that my fatness has become a health risk, and has resolved to exercise me as often as possible. It gets dark at 4:30. Her husband gets home at 5:30. She has small children and no sitter. This, my friends, means that I will end up being longed. Longed at the end of a stupid, smelly old rope. Forced to walk and trot...

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Mowers and raccoons and steers, oh my!

In my informal Facebook survey I learned that the majority of Friends of the Muleness want more stories—All the Stories!—and that the story they want most of all is the story of the raccoon. Farmwife says it's hardly a story at all, and that it would be something to talk about had the raccoon been in my barn, or touching my body, or gesticulating at me with it's bizarrely human little fingers to indicate that it would like a little snack or help with its homework. Alas, this is not that kind of story. Before I tell you about the raccoon I have to go backwards and tell you that I am feeling very good in my body these days. My track through the forest has been expanded, my laminitis is at bay, and my health has been very largely excellent since I came here to the Atomic Ranch in December. I am feeling so good, in fact, that I have been cleared for long walks around the neighborhood! Puck, Farmwife, and I sometimes make the long loop up Saratoga and back around Fox Spit, which ...

Continued . . .

BRAYS OF OUR LIVES

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