Skip to main content
FarmWife left my pasture gate partially closed yesterday, or perhaps the goats moved it while I was not looking. Whatever the explanation, the results were the same: A Narrowed Passageway. This is a big no-no, mulekeeping 101. My delicate hips, my tender shoulders! To think of all the accidents that could have befallen me! (They didn't, by the way, and they wouldn't have, really, because I am Sensible.)

"FarmWife," I called, "You'll want to prop that all the way open before you leave!"

She ignored me.

"FarmWife," I called, "You'll regret that later!"

She acted as though she didn't hear.

"FarmWife," I told her, "I am going to come running to you later today, and I will bray with such compelling cuteness that you will be provoked to take a video recording of the event. You will want things Just So for my movie. Open that gate all the way!"

She walked away.

Now, of course, we have a lovely video of my speedy approach. It reflects everything that is sweet about me, demonstrates all of my endearing character and affectionate charms, and stands for all that is good. She says we cannot post it on the internet because it reflects poorly on her mulekeeping standards. That half-closed gate is a B!T@H.

Well, FarmWife, my adoring public needs to see this, and I shall post it for them. Don't say I didn't tell you to open the gate.


Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 26, 2010 at 9:11 AM

    I do believe that I may be in love with Fenway!

    Jessica Strader

    ReplyDelete
  2. OTTB-Little Big RedMarch 26, 2010 at 11:08 AM

    Oh Fenway, the way you maneuvered around the gate makes me think you should talk to Farmwife regarding this discipline (I think they would allow mules to compete too).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqVLY8YfbEo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Marnie JacksonMarch 26, 2010 at 12:19 PM

    Oh, Little Big Red, this Agility Horse, if I recall correctly, was my Other Best Internet Celebrity Number 2 when I was just a new Public Figure on facebook! FarmWife and I very much want to compete in this sport, and we welcome volunteers to come to Bent Barrow Farm for an obstacle building work party.

    Jessica, this is a very common complaint. I recommend frequent sighing and prolonged mooning over my website or a printed photograph.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks in Advance for Your Mulish Opinion!

Popular Posts

Here are the Cloud Dog's X-Rays

Here, for your edification, are the X-rays of dear Paisley's leg. There is, apparently, no new break (since his Monday siezure) but there is, of course, a great deal of abnormality caused by years of living with a shortened ulna. His pronounced lameness, the vet says, may temporarily improve. Unlike me, Fenway Bartholomule, poor cloud dog can't expect much in the way of a full recovery.   Not having the $$$$ for surgery to fuse the joint, we are working on making some sort of rigid splint to support the limb and prevent further degeneration. That is, the humans (with their space-age material inventions and their opposable thumbs) are working on making a splint; I am working on giving cloud dog brayful looks of support and encouragement every time he totters into the yard to relieve himself. As always, he fears me (me?!) and keeps his distance.  Ears to you,  Fenway
2 comments
Continued . . .

Vegan Spring Rolls

I, Fenway Bartholomule, am a vegan: of course I only eat plants, not people! My human is too, so I'm sharing my blog with her today so that she can participate in the 2014 Virtual Vegan Potluck ! When you're done perusing the recipe for these delicious spring rolls, click "back" or "forward" for the entire potluck experience! Virtual Vegan Potluck: Spring Roll Appetizers Beautiful? Check. Healthy? Check. Delicious? Check. Easy? Check. Fancy? Check. Quick to clean up after? Check. Vegan? OF COURSE! If you're looking for something portable, colorful, and crowd-pleasing for your next potluck, look no further than these simple vegan spring rolls! The best part? You can substitute ANYTHING. I never make these the same way twice, so play around with cilantro, kale, cabbage, scallions, or whatever you think sounds good! Ingredients Veggie mix: 2 carrots (grated) 4 oz mung bean sprouts 1/3 cup chopped peanuts (raw, or roasted and salted) or ...
11 comments
Continued . . .

Catastrophy

This is the emergency broadcast system. This is not a test. I was going to entertain you with more haiku today, but something terrible has happened. I need your support. Today was supposed to be a regular spa day—a nice little hoofie trim, a fresh mane roach, an ear massage, and a handful of sunflower seeds (for shine). Instead of merely taking care of my beauty routine, however, FarmWife spent a full hour in contemplation of and attention to my overall physique. The upshot? A revision of my condition from Plump to Obese. (Her actual words, upon removing my blanket for the first time in a few days, were "Oh my God! You've ballooned!") She has decided that my fatness has become a health risk, and has resolved to exercise me as often as possible. It gets dark at 4:30. Her husband gets home at 5:30. She has small children and no sitter. This, my friends, means that I will end up being longed. Longed at the end of a stupid, smelly old rope. Forced to walk and trot...
14 comments
Continued . . .

Mowers and raccoons and steers, oh my!

In my informal Facebook survey I learned that the majority of Friends of the Muleness want more stories—All the Stories!—and that the story they want most of all is the story of the raccoon.  Farmwife says it's hardly a story at all, and that it would be something to talk about had the raccoon been in my barn, or touching my body, or gesticulating at me with it's bizarrely human little fingers to indicate that it would like a little snack or help with its homework. Alas, this is not that kind of story.  Before I tell you about the raccoon I have to go backwards and tell you that I am feeling very good in my body these days. My track through the forest has been expanded, my laminitis is at bay, and my health has been very largely excellent since I came here to the Atomic Ranch in December. I am feeling so good, in fact, that I have been cleared for long walks around the neighborhood! Puck, Farmwife, and I sometimes make the long loop up Saratoga and back around Fox Spit, which ...
1 comment
Continued . . .