You're an ass!

Next time you're tempted to call someone an ass, rethink. Does he, indeed, exemplify the 

traits of the humble burro? Ask yourself these questions: 

Is he patient beyond measure? 

Is he able to be thrifty, making do with little? 

Is he an excellent judge of character? 

Does he manage to look both wise-beyond-years and squeezably adorable at once? 

Is he disproportionately strong? 

Is he uncomplaining, except when dinner is late? 

Does he respond to kindness with affection and to cruelty with disdain? 

Does he look before he leaps, making well-informed decisions? 

Are his senses extraordinarily acute? 

Is he fiercely loyal to his allies?

If your answer to any of these above questions is "no," you may want to rethink your label. The ass deserves better.

FenBar

Above: FarmWife as an ass, pictured with her husband and daughters as assorted livestock animals.