|FarmWife can already carry two goats:|
is it such a leap to imagine her carrying
her darling Fenway Bartholomule?
Find more work
Take tactical shooting lessons
Quadruple the size of her ornamental garden
Grow naked oats
FarmWife is taking this bad news well, I think: With more work, she can buy me more joint supplements. With tactical shooting lessons, she can defend me against zombies. With a quadrupled ornamental garden, she can offer me exotic, toothsome delicacies like rose hips and lilac sprigs. With naked oats, she can tempt my appetite even further. With jogging, she can become strong, and hopefully begin to carry me about on HER back so that we can continue to enjoy the wilderness together.