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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Four ways to mount bareback

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRPQIIZkyY8&feature=youtu.be

Here's a lovely demonstration of four ways to mount your steed without the aid of saddle and stirrups. Congratulations, lithe YouTuber! You've impressed this mule.

Now, FarmWife, would you care to issue a sequel? I know you have a fifth method to recommend, a method executed in six steps:

1) find a knoll, curb, or suitable high spot.

2) heave oneself up onto one's tummy while gripping the neck and the fatty far side of your mount's barrel.

3) slither forward and diagonally earward, moving your chest, your belly, and eventually your pelvis onto your mount.

4) Continue moving onto the mule, still on your belly, while shouting "whoa! Whoa!" and feeling blindly about with your left hand for your mount's reins.

5) heave your right leg over your mount's hip, trying not to kick him in the flank with your boot.

6) Scooch carefully forward towards the withers, hunching over like Gollum so as not to alarm your mount with your poorly centered mass. When you've scooched sufficiently, scooch another inch. Now scooch backwards, causing each shining hair to rest in the correct direction.

Congratulations! You've mounted your animal.

Ears,
Fen


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