First, I show up for my 10 am spa treatment expecting a eucalyptus steam room, seasalt exfoliation, a Swedish massage, and a cucumber facial. I get a quick currying and a once-over with the dandy brush. Then I ask my pedicurist for metallic avocado airbrushed palm trees and scarlet rhinestone appliques. You know what I get? I get this.
What kind of dive spa are you running here, FarmWife??
At least it's free, eh? It just goes to show ya, you get what you pay for.