Dear Whatcom County roadway maintenance department:
I couldn't help but notice the abundant foliage on the grassy shoulders of your scenic byroads. I can help you with that!
I'm Fenway Bartholomule—trail mule, celebrity blogger, and vegetation control expert.
All I ask is this: you get rid of the cars. I'll take care of the rest.
You can mail my paychecks to Bent Barrow Farm.
Ears to you,