Sunday, January 9, 2011
State of Mind
I've been stewing over things that don't need stewing over . . . wishing I had arena footing when I hardly have room for an arena, wishing I had a barn when the animals are perfectly content in their shed. I've been resenting my children (my children, who are wonderful girls and who've granted me the right to be a stay-at-home, part-time-self-employed farm wife of liesure!) and wishing, wishing, wishing. Wishing for forty acres in the scorching California desert. 60 acres in the frigid Montana wilderness. 200 acres in the chigger-infested wasteland of rural Arkansas.
All I really want is right here, and all I really need is a muleback ride.
It's amazing to me how irritable, discontent, and restless I can get for lack of a muleback ride. I've been riding once since Thanksgiving, the unfortunate result of a combination of short daylight, hectic schedules, inclement weather, and inadequate free time. The twice a week groove that I enjoyed during the spring, summer, and early autumn seems to have been lost, and the four rides per week that I had dreamed of have failed to materialize.
The good news? I know what ails me, and it won't take much to get my mojo back. I have a sound mule, a caring husband, a beautiful playground of rugged trails before me. I don't need a geographic cure, a therapist, or a lobotomy. I need a little tweak of the schedule, that's all. I need to ride, and ride regularly. Not daily, not hourly . . . just a couple of times per week. It shouldn't be that hard.
Happiness is not far out of reach.