Monday, December 13, 2010
FEMA (Fenway's Emergency Management Action).
Here's the deal, guys—my good friends the Chicken People are stranded on an island.
It is not unusual for Wickersham to get wet. In fact, it is not unusual for Wickersham to get so wet that vehicle traffic to, from, and within our hamlet is impacted for days or weeks. Today, as it happens, our friends down the road are closed in by extensive flooding in every direction. I, Fenway, propose a solution.
I have a harness. I have an intrepid handler (FarmWife). I have access to a kayak. (So what if FarmHusband built it with his own two hands and would hate to see it get dinged up—anyone with opposable thumbs could do that!) I, Fenway Bartholomule, am standing ready to replenish their supplies! Using my short-but-still-adequate legs and my capacious strength and bravery, I propose to float emergency rations, medical supplies, dry bedding, and other necessities to my friends in need.
Meanwhile, the Chicken People assure me that they're well stocked and doing fine. Pish posh, I say! This is my chance to shine!
Fenway, Disaster Relief Coordinator, standing by.