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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Conflict Erupts


Here is the deal: FarmWife had cordoned off a wide swath of pasture to allow for regrowth. She has mowed thrice. Regrowth is complete. It is beautiful, lush, and delicious over there. It is an overgrazed wasteland (pictured above) over here.

Now she is trying to tell me that I only get to go over there half the time as a result of being fat, to which I respond that I am just muscular. She doesn't believe me. 

It is an atrocity.

FB


7 comments:

  1. Fenway -

    I agree that this is terrible and I know you are very upset. But ... and it's a big but ... a little less weight will be easier on your hock. Standing, working, getting down and up.

    Try not to complain too much. FarmWife is just trying to take good care of you.

    just brayin'....

    ReplyDelete
  2. FAT! My mom calls me fat all the time - I just ignore her and keep eating. Don't worry about it Fenway - if you lost weight you would be uncomfortable for Farm Wife to ride - so ignore her as she knows not what she is talking about.

    Your fren in Muscles,

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dearest Fenway,

    I understand that you think that FarmWife is doing you a mighty injustice, but don't you think she wants whats best for you? You have to admit that a little less weight will make you more willing to canter about your pasture and joyfully bray to your neighbors? I think you will appreciate her decision later...!

    Mulefully yours,
    Mare

    ReplyDelete
  4. And Fenway ....

    It's so darn hot this week you may want to stand in the shade and swish flies. And not eat, unless a tasty watermelon rind comes your way.

    Maybe your beloved FarmWife is worried that your new harness won't ... ahem ... fit your blossoming midriff?

    You're rippling, for sure. And shiny! But a sweating mass is not so appealing.

    Just braying.

    ReplyDelete
  5. FB,

    Mother says the same sorts of things about me! It IS an atrocity.

    I'm not sure what we can do about it, though...

    Boyfriend

    ReplyDelete
  6. Fenway, would you prefer one of these terms:

    beefy, big, blimp, bovine, brawny, broad, bulging, bulky, bull, burly, butterball, chunky, corpulent, distended, dumpy, elephantine, fleshy, gargantuan, gross, heavy, heavyset, hefty, husky, inflated, jelly-belly, lard, large, meaty, obese, oversize, paunchy, plump, plumpish, ponderous, porcine, portly, potbellied, pudgy, roly-poly, rotund, solid, stout, swollen, thickset, weighty, whalelike

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you all for your support, and for your delicacy in approaching the subject of my rotundity. Bif, we could unite against injustice . . . we could form the

    Federation of
    Lame
    Animals against
    Bale-distribution
    Bias.

    F.L.A.B.B.—because even the under-exercised have feelings.

    And Little Big Red, I think not! I prefer "Voluptuous," "Ample," "Substantial," "Big-boned," or "Comfy."

    Love,
    FB

    ReplyDelete

Thanks in Advance for Your Mulish Opinion!

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