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Saturday, May 29, 2010

Today's Agenda


Mule:

Bray heartily. Imbibe one scant flake. Walk eight paces to the manure heap. Defecate. Turn on the forehand. Eleven paces, soft right turn. Fourteen paces. Halt at the gate. Paw. Turn on the haunches. Fourteen paces. Enter shed. Vacuum scraps. Practice prehensile lip exercises. Stand, gazing into space. Blink.

Humans: 

Go into town. See a parade. Eat lunch at a cafe. Attend a magazine release party. Get a free t-shirt. Network, hobnob, mingle, and mix. Return home. Feed the mule . . . one more scant flake. Let him out, if it's dry enough, of his sacrifice paddock. He's praying you will. 


4 comments:

  1. Fenway,

    I fear you are succumbing to the "grass is always greener on the other side" syndrome. You never, ever have to hunt for a parking spot, get seated at the diner next to the shrieking child, or be unable to find a bathroom when you really, really need one.

    Just brayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hay Fenway - you have about an exciting life as I do.

    Your fren,

    Buddy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fenway - maybe the farmwife should get you a small mesh hay net. Oscar has one, and it really makes his hay last longer. He needs it because he makes a mess of his hay, but since you are so tidy, it would just make it easier for you to savor it for longer.
    -Kristen

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kristen, I would love to have such a thing. Perhaps for my birthday! Buddy, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with a quiet Eat_Poop_Nap_Gaze_Eat sort of life. Anon., I am often unable to find a bathroom when I really, really need one. This is because I will not poop on the go . . . only in my paddock or in my trailer. Makes it easy for me to do public appearances, though . . . if I'm ever invited in to the Whitehouse, for instance, I shall refrain from soiling the Presidential Carpet!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks in Advance for Your Mulish Opinion!

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