Well, depending on your feelings about ponies and bling, I have bad news and good news. Or good news, and bad news. Or bad and bad, or good and good. You decide.
First, the bling . . . my mother made me this beaded browband. It's not 100% finished, but good enough for my photo shoot! The best thing about it is that I, Fenway Bartholomule, love the color green. Green is grass and orchard grass hay, green is a meadow on a sunny day . . . green like clover, green like leaves, green is the color that looks best on me. FarmWife knows this about me, and that's why I know she loves me. If she didn't love me as much, she would have made this beaded browband in HER favorite color, which is blue and which is also very nice.
Second, my height. Here goes folks—I'm puttin' it out there. I, Fenway Bartholomule, measure 14.075 hands. No, that's not FourteenPointSevenFive, which would be 14.3, of course. That is FourteenHandsAndAlmostAnInch. The tough thing about this is that it means I am really practically a pony, but the good thing about it is that when I finish my first 50 mile CTR at age 30-plus, the headlines will read, "Ancient, Diminutive International Celebrity Finishes at the Top of his Game." I like it.
So, here is the wee Fenway in his bootiful new jewelry. I asked the photographer to emphasize my length of leg, and I think she's really captured my essence here. There is more to me than mere inches.
To those of you who love me even though I'm a little bit tiny, thank you. I love you too. To those of you who are horrified, get this: I have nipples on my sheath.
There! Now you've forgotten all about my height. All better.